Monday, November 5, 2012

Some General Rules to Live by While Abroad

While I am waiting for pictures, gathering the last bits of history before I tell all of our continuing adventures, dealing with school, and coming out of my stress bubble, I am going to share some general rules that you may already know or think about, but that you really need to act upon if you plan to be abroad for an extended period of time.

1. Nothing will go as planned.

While Hot Stuff and I have been able to keep things under control lately, we still haven't managed to fully keep everything from not going how we would like. Both of us have had to move since we've been here, and, while she moved to make things easier for her, I moved because the institute required it and have not had the best of times. While my host mother had lightened up a bit, she is still known between Hot Stuff and I as the "Never Lady". I still come home to find things reorganized in my room (I'm still waiting to come home and find the gifts on my table moved somewhere, and, like my charging cables, I will have to search high and low for them). I still have to eat foods I don't care for. I still only get one load of laundry a week in a tiny washer. We still don't talk despite efforts.

And then there is outside of the home. Different buildings/churches/museums have different hours. (I am working on a list of everything along with locations, hours, and costs that I will post in the future.) Google maps isn't the best in Russia. Spend the 150 rubles. Get a map. Mark on the map the location you need. Otherwise you may end up going to a Lutheran cemetery because the park looking place is where you think you need to go when, in reality, you already saw the church you wanted to see.

2. Don't plan on going into churches that aren't specifically tourist attractions.

If you don't have to pay to go in, don't plan on seeing the inside. There are so many services, special occasions, or events going on that going inside will be a little difficult. Also, just because it's a tourist site, doesn't mean you can take pictures. Another general note: When going to a church, always bring head covering. It's better to be safe than disrespectful.

3. Bring a camera, but expect to have to pay for photography.

While this isn't the case everywhere, Hot Stuff and I have found through our adventures that photography isn't always free or even allowed. Look for signs such as "NO FLASH" ans "NO PHOTOGRAPHY BEYOND THIS POINT". It may be really pretty and you may want to photograph the moment, but you might not be able to. Also, a resent change in Russian laws have made it illegal to photograph the inside of the metro stations. Luckily, there are many pictures online.

4. Send out a weekly or bimonthly email to your family.

While blogs are nice for telling people what you are up to, it doesn't answer the questions they actually care about. How are you? What's the weather like? How are classes/work? Do you need me to do anything for you? These are the questions your family wants answered. Not "We had so much fun doing x,y, and z and here's some history on it and here are pictures and i'm just running around seeing so many sites every minute I can!!" It's your family. They need more than that.

5. Skype

Skype is a wonderful and glorious thing, but it is also your enemy while you are abroad. My rule to you all (Note: This is not a suggestion), only get on Skype 1-2 days a week. Stress will hit hard, especially if things aren't going as you would like, but you can bet there will be people back home who don't care about how much stress you are going through because they think it's equal to theirs. In some cases, it may be. In others, it's not. They are dealing with the comforts of home, getting stressed out by school/work, and being able to see their friends, go places you miss, eat foods you miss, and participate in activities you miss. You, on the other hand, are in an unfamiliar place, communicating in a language you may or may not understand, having to learn what you can do and what times you have to do those things, you may have a curfew (either because of your host or because they raise the bridges at night), you may have a hobby you love but can't do... And to top it all off, you have to deal with stress. You may see this as not being fair and think that you are suffering a much higher level of stress than the people back home. It may be the case, but you should never assume so. You should never think that someone is  not understanding to your situation. They may not be able to fully understand what you are going through unless they have gone through a similar situation themselve, but it isn't and shouldn't be a competition.

I've found that, the more you communicate with someone, the more you seem to compete, the more stressful it becomes, and the less understanding people seem to be, because your stress is making it appear to be that way. Limit your time. Save yourself from getting angry. If you want to communicate on a daily basis, send emails until your days for Skype. If you have a family, Skyping more regularly is understandable. You probably want to say goodnight to your kids. Just don't try to  communicate with people every minute you have available. You need time for yourself as well in order to calm down from your "stress bubble".

6. Schedule

SCHEDULE EVERYTHING!!!

There is so much you want to do and so little time unless you plan. Plus, if you just go off and try to do something fun every free moment you have, you are going to neglect something. Schedule your days. I'm not saying "Today I'm going here. Tomorrow this is happening, etc.", but more like "I need x amount of time to get the important stuff done, leaving me with this time to enjoy myself." I'm playing catch up right now, which is why I'm saying this.

7. Have fun.

The most important thing to do is to enjoy your time. Don't let other people and things ruin your time in another country. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. You don't want to spend it being miserable. Before you leave find out what you want to see. Research what's available as far as entertainment options. Know what you have before you go. It's not because you don't know if you can find something, but it will make it easier instead of  wondering around saying, "If I only knew about this sooner..." It's your trip. Do what you want. Just, please, think about the safety of what you're doing. Everyone wants you to come home in one piece.




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